=Life= and reflections=
hmm..haven't been updating much so far...busy busy busy.....BM engineering is damn hard course manz...have to do revision and reading up almost everyday in order to cope well in class...haiz...well...things are getting hard nowadays...it seems like somedays i talk a lot in class for modules which i enjoyed and comfortable with, and when im with the modules which i almost can die in it, im so like a mute!!! so, as for today's module, since i am always talking in class, giving ideas and etc...im being praised and being 'por' by my faci manz...she treated me so nice, and seemed to have high expectations from me, and hopes that i dun disappoint her in UT, i may gain some motivation from this, but at the same time, this is a pressure to me...sighs...
Hmm...today I 'fan lian' with shiwen, Im so angry with her this morning, and almost every morning bahx..why? this may seem ridiculous but somehow, maybe im rather petty at times. Or maybe I almost explode already ah. It was because her being late!!! She has repeatedly being late despite the reminders manz...and im being pissed off day by day in the morning...yet i don't flare up, just told her i wanna explode already...well...arghhhhh.....don't know why i really 'bao' today....really ANGRY!!!!! really!!!! today later den usual...exceeding the limits of my patience already. And somehow I think that it was the first time that I fan lian in front of her despite of our 5 year friendship and sisterhood. I don't easily got angry with frens too, but when pushing me to my limits will cause me to explode, which i think it's more harder for others to understand it. and which is more scarier than the normal case. I didn't talk to her all throughout the journey to school, having a 'black' faced all the while....feeling wierd though, but no choice, i just can't afford to be cool down when im being pushed to this limit. Without talking to her made me feel very wierd though, because everyday we talked alot and suddenly we didn't talk and don't know whose gonna make the first move, usually I don't talk unless the other person talk to me first if it's not my fault or if they apologise to me... haiz......well......i don't know what to say too......
hmm....what more can i say about my life now? sux about school, life is such a bore at times....the same procedure everyday...tired after school....and all....housework waited at home...and blah blah...environment and the people around me sometimes become scary factors. Things making some impact on my life......stronger? weaker? cruel? bold?daring? haiz....maybe im going thru this phase of changes in life which people around me can't accept the reality....sometimes i have things keeping me from going further, keeping a low profile in my changes...[big changes=not me???] sighs...what's with everything?!?!I think I will be who i am...be someone standing on my own feet...why would i always wanna be the weak victim of the external factors!?! come on, face up to reality and live by who u are......sometimes life is sooooooo unfair.....haiz...at the same time, hoping all these changes to make me to be someone strong and uphold my own stand which will not lead me to betray my own dignity and conscience....i still wanna be who i am, in terms of my own background characters should always remain with its traces.
*staying happy-go-lucky
*freedom
*get into a Uni
*PR
*good paying job
*a new hair-do/image
*changes of contents in my wardrobe
*new sets of shoes/cosmetics
*perfumes
*skin care products
*being a teacher/engineering assist/SUCCESSFUL career woman
*independence
*CAR LISENSE
`25 `02 `1986
`
RP Volleyballers
_____m e mo r i e s*
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Madeline |
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Melissa |
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vincente korkor |
hongchuan|
kokmun mama |
wenjin papa |
xiao eeling |
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Others
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xiuhan |
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