Don't know what to do
felt like writing in the blog...what should i do now? first day of school tml...volleyball training after school...friday school too...and how about tml? what should i do better? go or not go? feel like being there for him yet im stucked in between volleyball training, teaching and etc...fan si le...mei yong de wo...zhen de mei yong...missed training and sentosa trip on tuesday for his sake le, and im willing to do so without minding....but shall i miss another training tml? im in deep shit this time...but if i miss tml, den i must be home early to teach..so cant be there...what the hell...im sooo 'fan'..
but lucky thing is that my bro in law is leaving for Indonesia again on friday...i sounded so bad....yet i do miss his presence somehow...
already was lousy in the principle of being a good and caring gf, and now time for me to show extra concern...im as lost as being crazy...I wondered as a gf, whether it was okie for him if i weren't there everyday.....Were the first few days enough and alright to do so? I hope it helped...but the next few days...im feeling guilty towards it...a feeling that i could no longer make it...Im willing to make sacrifices to be there for him...but sacrifices for this period really has limitations due to certain circumstances at home..and other stuffs to do...before this happening, my plan was to accompany him everyday and miss my 2 trainings etc...but i have no power to do so....thus, i feel so useless and hopeless....i just wondered whether he still need me to be by his side right now even he said he don't mind..? it may be a 口是心非 thing. Or should i say would he mind and angry? 我不知道我为什么那么在乎他所生气的事。。我为什么那么在意呢?? what's wrong with me? 是不是因为知道他的情况? 可能是吧。。。 and i think more than meets the eye...
最后呢。。。我很想表示我很对不起你。。。什么都帮不上忙。。。
可是我还是很爱你。。越来越深。。。所以我会感觉到很抱歉。。。
*staying happy-go-lucky
*freedom
*get into a Uni
*PR
*good paying job
*a new hair-do/image
*changes of contents in my wardrobe
*new sets of shoes/cosmetics
*perfumes
*skin care products
*being a teacher/engineering assist/SUCCESSFUL career woman
*independence
*CAR LISENSE
`25 `02 `1986
`
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