dat night was like dat peaceful//

Today is:

Friday, October 13, 2006 @ 10/13/2006 11:06:00 PM

sighsss..helppppp..im lost....

i went out with my frens...had dinner and played pool. just wanna keep myself pre-occupied. suddenly....i cried again! i started tearing when i played. just as when the sad songs being played in kpool. i had to urge to go ktv. soon bahx..den i wanna cry my heart's out. sing all my feelings out...arghh...*sob sob*..talking about it..im feeling my eyes watering again...oh my god..help me..my throat and chest are feeling choaked. like i said..i never felt this way before...im often noticed by my frens to be in dazed. staring at space and said nothing. please...help me to be pre-occupied so that I wouldn't think so much...i feel so dumb...love him so much still yet afterall, i had made my decision. i find it hard to get back to him after i hurt him so much. and lastly, the words he used on me in the fit of anger really bothered me....he has no right to say that on me...even in the fit of anger..where's the basic respect for the gf. my sis would never forgive him saying that on me...anyway..that's not the main reason why i choose to leave him..there are many factors. haiz..im overly tired..yet...i feel so pain. so hurts. so real. so devastating. so unbelievable that i thought i could move on easily. but no..why? so that means im not toying with you...and hope you understand. i have to make myself cruel in front of him...saying im fine.etc...im all faking it...faking it...arghh...im horrible... feeling horrible and miserable...why must be so cruel? what happened to me?

arghhh..whatever darn it!! im sick!

// the peaceful night sky

Dont wanna try ************************************************************************

they hurt so bad that they ended our relationship
i cant believe it ..4 years go down the drain
oh how i wish things would of happened so differently
i tried to save it so many times but you still couldnt see
u kept insistin and resistin that u would not fall again
and now u tryin to tell me that ur sorry
and ur tryin to come back home
ur tellin me u really need me crying beggin both knees are on the floor
but baby i
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
u keep insisting when u know our love is out the door
dont wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
i hurt u bad to when we both begin to cry
dont wanna try dont wanna try i bout just had enough its been a rough road
baby just let it go
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
tell me whats the use of holdin on when all we do is hurt our love
u and i had many conversations on the telephone
talks about one day we having a place of our own
wake up in the morning and have breakfast ready on the table
but all of that just seems so far away from me
had to wake up face reality
it all just seem to good to be true after all you put me through
and now u tryin to tell me that ur sorry
and u tryin to come back home
u tellin me that u really need me crying beggin both knees are on the floor
but baby i
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
u keep insisting when u know our love is out the door
dont wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
i hurt u bad to when we both begin to cry
dont wanna try dont wanna try i bout just had enough its been a rough road
baby just let it go
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
tell me whats the use of holdin on when all we do is hurt our love
(dont wanna try dont wanna try)
(dont wanna try no more)
(dont wanna try dont wanna try..oo)
(dont wanna try dont wanna try)
(dont wanna try no more)
(dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more ooo)

***********************************************************************************

// the peaceful night sky

- leave me alone.. i want some peace.. -

Today is:

Thursday, October 12, 2006 @ 10/12/2006 10:37:00 PM

hi bloggy, i miss you..
not long ago...entries of love overpowering...now wat...?

im feeling so miserable now...i thought I could be happy after the breakup, but no...i don't know how i feel now...i still miss him..miss him more than i was with him...should say more than expected...i guess i realised that i do love him a lot..but i have to give up due to some reasons...i feel guilty and bad to hurt him this way...i guess i dragged on this relationship too long till i cant bear to leave him even though how much he hurt me. the dragging part had already put him in my heart more and more already. im now feeling lost and soft hearted...but i don't want to show that im soft hearted anymore...let this cruel decision be here and wont hurt him again...im feeling pain now...i thought i could release my burden, but...arghhh...i feel like crying...

was crying throughout my bath just now...i have never felt this way..never felt this chest pain before..never heard myself saying "wo de xin hao tong ah". really felt the chest is so heavy....clenching on my chest and cried.until i felt like vomitting...it feelssss so horrible...why is love so powerful...i love him so much, yet i still choose to give him up. why? now i cant find the reasons. previously, i was confident of my decision...but now..sighs..i feel like dying...but i have to tell myself to be strong..no matter what cannot show him how i feel, otherwise, i would lose my sense again and hurt him again and again...and myself getting more xinku and xinku.

forget it..im tired...

leave me to die...

// the peaceful night sky

- leave me alone.. i want some peace.. -

dat life X

*^*p h l o y

Republic Polytechnic
25`02`86
phloy_phan@hotmail.com
in my pisces world
i love volleyball
__PHLOY'S XANGA BLOG__

dat wish X

*staying happy-go-lucky
*freedom
*get into a Uni
*PR
*good paying job
*a new hair-do/image
*changes of contents in my wardrobe
*new sets of shoes/cosmetics
*perfumes
*skin care products
*being a teacher/engineering assist/SUCCESSFUL career woman
*independence
*CAR LISENSE

dat dates X

~~`25 `02 `1986~~
`

dat exits X

dat chats X

_____m e mo r i e s*
x June 2004
x July 2004
x August 2004
x September 2004
x October 2004
x November 2004
x December 2004
x January 2005
x February 2005
x March 2005
x April 2005
x May 2005
x June 2005
x July 2005
x August 2005
x November 2005
x December 2005
x January 2006
x September 2006
x October 2006
x November 2006
x May 2007
x July 2007

dat HUGS X

You are Sneakers!

You're an active girl, who's all about function You dress for the occasion - comfort comes first Your perfect guy? Someone who can keep up with you. You'll find him - but you might have to slow down to see him!

What Kind Of Women's Shoe Are You?

FEBRUARY attitude!

FEBRUARY

Abstract thoughts
Loves reality and abstract
Intelligent and clever
Changing personality
Temperamental
Quiet, shy and humble
Low self esteem
Honest and loyal
Determined to reach goals
Loves freedom
Rebellious when restricted
Loves aggressiveness
Too sensitive and easily hurt
Showing anger easily
Dislike unnecessary things
Loves making friends but rarely shows it
Daring and stubborn
Ambitious
Realizing dreams and hopes
Sharp
Loves entertainment and leisure
Romantic on the inside not outside
Superstitious and ludicrous
Spendthrift
Learns to show emotions

Phanthipha, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum — reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

Phanthipha, your passion is Bashful Blush!

Yours is a passion driven from the inside — not the outside. Some may misinterpret that to mean you're more timid than others when it comes to love, school, and life in general. But really, we suspect it's just that you focus more on driving toward your goals than announcing them to the world. While some people have to stand at a podium to stake their territorial claims — on guys, teams, or the honor roll — you're more likely to take a less direct route. (After all, it's easier to make your point when you're not caught like a deer in the spotlight.) A level-headed discussion with someone close to your issue, if not the person directly, is more your style — whether feeling out if your crush is already taken or asking your parents for a much-deserved raise in allowance. Your careful approach usually pans out better than creating a dramatic scene before a gawking audience. Sure, you go after what you want in life. But your style has never been to grab the bull by the horns. The patience you've cultivated has no doubt helped you become who you are today — a devoted friend, daughter, girlfriend, or student. So keep at it — picking your private battles. Then stand back to watch your bashful blush work its passionate magic!

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Phanthipha, you're a Steady Supporter Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with. For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

Career Interest Inventory

Phanthipha, based on your responses, your top career area is Education and Training
Careers in this field often demand that you have an idealistic mindset. Whether it's teaching new information, skills, or behavior, you need to have a zeal for interacting with others and being in charge. Most likely it's important for you to know that your patience and communication skills can have a lasting impact on the lives of others.

What Does Your Style Says About You?

Phanthipha, your style says you're Sporty and Fun No matter which team you get a kick out of the most — soccer, softball, track, basketball, or cheerleading — you've got a love for games and staying active. Clothes and fashion are important to you, but for a team player like you, it's about more than just looks. You want to be comfortable and prepared for anything that might come your way. Whether you're more of an athlete or a fan, you like what sports can do for people — overcome challenges, learn something new, push themselves. Your cool style says that you're always up for a new game. And that'll always score you points!

Which Emoticon Are You?

Phanthipha, the emoticon that represents you best is the Smiling Face What's up, smiley? Somehow you just always seem to find a way to turn that frown upside down. Your upbeat attitude and friendly demeanor brighten up any room, including your favorite chat room. Like your classic emoticon counterpart, you're a staple on anyone's list. Boring days and sleepless nights are far more bearable when you're online to chat. Whether you're shooting the breeze, catching up, or giving out advice, you can cheer up anyone on the other side of the conversation. So keep lightening the mood, making new friends, and bringing smiles to other folks' faces. After all, it's just so natural for you!

What Kind of Cool Are You?

Phanthipha, you're Calm, Cool, and Collected Do your friends like to lean on your shoulder? Ask you for advice in life and love? Put you on speed-dial for emergencies? We bet they do. You're as balanced as they come. When it comes to making decisions, you're not afraid to take the time to weigh your options carefully in order to make the right choice. And it takes more than a few obstacles to rattle your cool head. The good news is that you've also got lots of heart, and you make sure that people know that you always have their backs. There's almost nothing more important to you than the people in your life, so being a support to them is the coolest thing around. Just like you.

Heart-Strong Idealist

Phanthipha, you follow your heart when it comes to success You're an impassioned individual who just can't suppress your ideals. You've got a strong sense of right and wrong, and want to let people know when they've crossed the line. Sure, there are times when you sit back to hear both sides of an argument. But people had better stay out of the way when your fiery passions take hold. But just because you can be a bit of a rebel with a cause, it doesn't mean you're incapable of being understanding and compassionate. It's because you're so invested in your ideas and interests that you can work so tirelessly toward your goals and speak up for what you believe in. So keep pouring your heart into it. With conviction like yours, you're sure to succeed!

What Breed of Dog are You?

Phanthipha, you're a Chihuahua! No bones about it, you're an energetic, devoted Chihuahua. For your breed, size definitely doesn't matter. After all, sometimes the best things (diamonds, car keys, Godiva truffles) come in small packages. Honest and straightforward, you're never afraid to speak up for what you believe in, especially if it's a cause near and dear to your heart. Having such a passionate personality can come with a few drawbacks, though. You can be moody at times, and people often find it hard to live up to your high standards. But once you make a friend, it's for life. Saucy and intense, your energy and unfailing loyalty make you a great companion. Woof!

Are You a Natural Leader?

Congratulations, you're a real leader! Your leadership skills are quite strong, so don't be afraid to step up to the plate when problems need solving — you'll do great. You've got a solid combination of positive leadership traits — from organizational skills to communication ability. These talents make you a great resource in the workplace, someone people can look to for guidance and direction. Still, there are a few things you might need to work on. To brush up on the different components of leadership, check out your scores below:

You Gender Identity

Phanthipha, you're 59% masculine
This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with men. You're also 41% feminine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with women. When we compare your results with other women it shows that you are somewhat more masculine than other women. But what is gender identity exactly? A person's gender identity is defined by the extent to which they see themselves as masculine or feminine. Every person possesses both masculine and feminine qualities to some degree, however the extent to which each person has these qualities differs widely. While you were taking the test, we calculated your scores in 6 areas typically defined as masculine and 6 areas typically defined as feminine.

Who's the man of your dreams?

Phanthipha, The Boy Next Door is the man of your dreams The guy next door can be a lot more than the kid who played a great game of tag and buried you in snowballs. He can be the man of your dreams. A laidback and fun girl like you doesn't need a glass slipper or fancy jewels — you just want a guy who knows how to have a good time and has a handle on what's important. You're the kind of girl who wants to marry her best friend, so you might not have to look far for the perfect guy for you. Whoever said you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince wasn't talking about you. Tag — you're it!

Class IQ test

Congratulations, Phanthipha!
Your IQ score is 129
This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

What hairstyle matches you?

Phanthipha, your hairstyle should be Flirty From cute curls to a fun flip, your hairstyle should show off the fact that you know how to strike the perfect balance between sassy and sweet. With your charisma and outgoing personality, you're sure to light up any room. From parties to workdays to lazy Sundays, your style always radiates your fun-loving charm. With your natural knack for wooing and your willingness to go out on a limb for what you want, it's no surprise that your style is sure to shine. So whether your hairstyle is lusciously long or coifed into the perfect pixie, we bet you turn heads wherever you go. Way to wow them!

What gets you whipped?

Phanthipha, you're whipped because he's Sweet Nice guys finish last? Not a chance if they meet a sweetie like you. There's not a thing in the world you wouldn't do for loved ones, and you wanna make sure you find a guy who's got his priorities straight too. Whether he's a bull-rider or a businessman, he'd better have a big heart. When you fall, you fall hard. And it's the little things that matter like when he opens the door for you, cooks you dinner, or leaves sweet notes in your pocket. Brains and brawn are fine and dandy, but he won't win your heart if he isn't in touch with his sensitive side. Awwww, how sweet!

What Type Are You?

You are a Hopeless romantic
Do you swoon when a guy recites poetry to you? Go ga-ga over a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers? Then there's no doubt about it — you're a textbook Hopeless Romantic. Chances are you love soft music, candlelight, and long walks on the beach at sunset. Crying at sappy movies (your favorite kind) is a given — a box of tissues is a must — and you've have had your wedding planned since grade school. You're looking for a deep relationship — a soulmate. Traditional and sympathetic, guys love that they can open up to you and talk to you about their feelings, their past, and their hopes for the future. How can a suitor win your heart? By romancing you. Sending you flowers, surprising you with a picnic lunch, or going for a horse-drawn carriage ride. Before you know it, you'll be creating a life-long love story.

Pisces Personality

Like its symbol of two fish swimming in opposite directions, Pisceans are always torn between choices whether to seek the light or sink into the darkness. Being well liked for their kind and sympathetic nature, their charm of manner and carefree nature will impress many. You are compassionate, and unless pushed to the wall, will rarely hurt anyone. A Piscean can be very caustic but the sarcasm is not always direct and generally goes unnoticed. However, this can land you in a spot every once in a while. You find it difficult to conform and follow rules or to cope with discipline. When the going gets really rough, the Piscean may try to flee down river and hide amongst the vast schools of fish swimming lazily around. The very weak-willed among you are likely to indulge in alcohol and drugs to escape. Alternatively, you might be able to pour out your emotions in creative arts. You put your emotions in poetry or short verse but seldom open up to those around you on a personal basis. Although you might be impractical and somewhat uneasy with the real world, you are brave and prefer a lot of independence. Pisceans like to delve in spiritual matters and lots of you are fascinated by the occult. Maybe because many fish are psychic or their dreams can be strange and portential. Remember one thing: you are the culmination of all that has gone before, whilst Aries is the birth of the zodiac, Pisces the twelfth sign is death and eternity, you are the distillation of all the other signs.

Pisces Lover

In the world of romance, you crave fairytales, being more in love with the idea of love than being in love itself. Though you are strongly attracted to good looks, your attention will completely fizzle out if your partner is not intelligent; you may just simply lose interest once you have been able to "secure" the object of your desire. For some, the pursuit is sometimes more fun than the end result. Those born under Scorpio, Cancer, and Pisces make ideal partners for Pisces. Pisceans can be unnecessarily suspicious and jealous, and this might cause a lot of heartache. Although you will expect a perfect marriage, your unpredictable moods will be the reason for some tension at times. The most important ingredient you bring to a relationship is love. You are gentle, sensitive, and a romantic through and through, valuing fidelity in a marriage and will be kind and affectionate to your spouse and children. Though you let your partner take on a dominant role in public, you like to rule at home. As you long for love, it is essential that you establish a loving relationship with your family.

Pisces Professional

Pisceans will do well in performing arts, especially the theatre. In science, Pisceans tend to work in the fields of either physics or medicine. They will also do well in ocean-based occupations or working with animals. Pisceans normally have talents that will get them money and fame. The streak of independence in you rarely allows you to be dependent on others. You will be ready to help the needy, having no consideration for a rainy day, even if you are not sure that it will be returned. You hate to chase money owed, hoping that it will be returned voluntarily. You are often distracted when bored, which tends to affect your work adversely. You need to be focused and inspired to give your best.

Pisces Traveller

You love water and would head straight for some beach resort. Perhaps scuba diving and water skiing on holiday is your dream holiday; though splashing around on the beach is your idea of fun too. You are generally very emotional and romantic so would love to holiday with your partner.

Pisces Well Being

Pisces people have slow metabolisms, which is why they wake up sleepy eyed and listless, poor eating habits can bring troubles so try to set regimes and stick to them, Pisceans lungs are not strong, they can be a bit asthematic and are also prone to colds and flu bugs. Those of you living in cold climates should take adequate protection against the cold (keep your head, hands and neck covered). Those living in warmer climes should take special care of personal hygiene. Most of you are less than average in height, with large or small hands, big feet or little feet there are generaly no in betweens. You have a tendency to put on weight, unless you make special efforts to fight it off. A double chin is common among Pisceans and a good number among you have large eyes and a wide mouth. Ankles and feet are the vulnerable areas of Pisceans. Some also suffer from liver and digestive afflictions and varicose veins. Painting, listening to music, reading and dance can help calm your nerves. Swimming is a good form of exercise as well as relaxation for you. Pisceans are often good at martial arts as they have the necessary inner strength, try some Tai Chi first thing in the morning to put life in perspective for the rest of the day.

Pisces Luck

Warm colours like red, yellow and orange are lucky for Pisces. Your lucky stone is amethyst, whereas Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday are favorable days. Wednesday and Friday do not prove to be good for people under this zodiac sign. Neptune is your ruler and your element is water (WATER Water people are never petty. They are clever and plan well ahead. But they often tend to be timid. The element Water is represented by blue or black. Water shapes include gentle undulations like waves in a river. A water house has numerous bays, and like the ebb and flow of water, experiences regular change in fortunes)

Pisces Teens

The best shoulder to cry on -- that's the Pisces girl for you. Compassion and sympathy are the hallmarks of this girl and don't be surprised if she ends up in the profession of social welfare. Since much of her time will be taken up relieving others' worries, she will hardly find time to pamper her personal self. Comfortable in second-hand clothes, she'll be happy in whatever makes her feel comfortable. The Pisces lass has a dreamy disposition and loses track when she wanders. She is invariably late for appointments. The best institution suited for her will be, preferably, a small liberal arts college. Always willing to help a friend, the inner beauty of a Pisces lady lies in her creativity and powers of empathy. Kind and compassionate, a Piscean lad generally goes out of his way to help others. He never intentionally hurt others and seeks to avoid confrontation at all costs. He spends much of his time in the cocoon of his private dream world. He is absent minded at times. He sees the world through rose tinted glasses, he walks around with his head in the clouds. He is generally a loner and often has to be drawn into the company of friends. By and large, he is very selective about his friends. He often lacks in determination and this may account for his not realising his potential. He is an impressionable person who could get into wrong company that might have potentially disastrous consequences. If he can be motivated to work hard, there is very little he cannot achieve.