You are a more active person, drawing a clear line between happiness and unhappiness. You are more quick-tempered. If you encounter things you like, you will do it without second thought. But once you encounter things that you hate, you will wish to get out of it as soon as possible. As you are a person of your own views, the friends you tend to have will be of the same pattern. But once good friends, you will understand them a lot and go all the way to help then. Friends are very dependent on you. As you are too emotional, you may make a storm out of a teacup with your friends. You must learn to do things in order and not give up easily. You can try making friends with those you don't think you can get along with, don't stick with the same category. This will make you more popular and charming.
i do actually hope to see his caller ID and sms appearing on my phone, but yet i do not want to do that. it should not happen right? cos it was my silly decision. when i see his name on my phone, i just somehow feel really really weird. uncomfortable, silently missing him. please..i do not want to cry now. all i can write in the blog is all these. cos i feel best to write it. i can no longer have the feeling to tell ppl about all these feelings i have now. i feel really really a disgrace and tired to share with ppl my silliness. my silly feelings of indulgence into love.
the fault lies with me that i never trust him and let him go.
that i never give him the chance to fully change.
i gave him too little time.
i should have known he could not do it immediately.
i did not give him chance to recover from his distress.
i straightaway push him into the corner.
i let his love down.
i misjudged his sincerity.
im not patient enough to wait.
i want freedom and independence.
what i think i have to consider...
he is always hot temper.
always making things difficult for me when quarrel.
im so tired, till i wanna drop dead and give up.
that made me really felt tied down.
im not suitable for that kind of life.
all my life, i have never quarrel with anyone to this extent.
i felt pressurized.
somehow...he scolded me vulgarities which nobody accept.
im so protected by them.
the way he treated me like that so far made everyone detest him.
i landed him in this situation cos of my big mouth?
now i could no longer find flaws in him. where has it gone to?
i considered many factors before making my decision already.
yet now, why? lol. hopefully i wont regret.
maybe all i need is time.
well...sometimes i feel i cannot suit him.
i cant satisfy his expectations.
i dun understand his unreasonable and hot temper mistreatment to me.
it sound contradicting bcos of this.
he dont understand what i want.
he cant read me after i made things clear over again and again.
he doesn't want to listen to my utmost explanation.
everything was like excuses to him.
i hate to hear him telling me to stop, forget it.
forget it means....? sighs.
he doesnt like me to argue.
so empty..i brought it upon myself
well..im back to blog again...
haiz..lotsa things happened..i don't know what to do now...im so lost...sometimes i just feel like crying over what had happened. i selfishly lost him. i chose to lose him. why? i duno why. i hurt him. i caused his life in a mess and miseries. i selfishly harmed him that way. writing all these really made me wanna cry. but i gotta stop. hao bu rong yi trying to let go. and furthermore, if i cry now, what would become of my eyes tmr.
hao bu rong yi trying to let go mah? no..its definitely very difficult. all i could do is trying to be occupied with things this period. somehow my blog has this 'wu ding' song, which makes me listen to it again and again. that's what reminds me of him..it keeps repeating the times we had together before... the best time to blog is at this time..late at night, that's when i feel the emptiness... this is the time when i feel emotionally weak...and when im happy i feel extremely high...as for now... my tears will easily fall from my eyes to my cheeks.. but i do not want it now. it over. it should be over by now. i should not be brooding over it liao. i had enough le. =sobz=
i shall just let it go. im so sorry.
*staying happy-go-lucky
*freedom
*get into a Uni
*PR
*good paying job
*a new hair-do/image
*changes of contents in my wardrobe
*new sets of shoes/cosmetics
*perfumes
*skin care products
*being a teacher/engineering assist/SUCCESSFUL career woman
*independence
*CAR LISENSE
`25 `02 `1986
`
RP Volleyballers
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