REFLECTION and aiming of life
hey blog.
im here again after some time...hmm...this 'wu ding' song really triggers my head. but well...im heading towards my dream and goal. i wont be indulging in my useless thoughts. I just made myself think of them. cos i like to think. i enjoy it. i want to smile to myself when i think. but i failed to consider this thinking would sway my thoughts and made me into wild thinking. Thus, hurting myself, making myself down and inferior, making me feel worst and making life messy.
Therefore now, I am somehow letting it go slowly. Suddenly I dont want to think so much already. I kept myself occupied. I feel as though as I changed again after another relationship. This time round as a whole, not for relationship alone, as in not affecting relationship, in which what changes they are I am applying it to the environment now.
I am beginning to see reality more now. I dont care much about what people really think and dont really care about being the insignificant. I have whom I trust and love which is enough. I dont want to bother to please others who dont treasure me. I should be more than happy that I have friends and family whom care for me. I used to do that a lot to many people. I dont reject favours from people and always be around for people. Are those pisces personalities for real? Like, I am a person with empathy for the surrounding people. Sometimes I wonder whether I can do it? Why am I always wanting to help people to the extend that I forsake my close ones?
Maybe I do not know how to manage life properly?
well..overall, I shall not conclude anything from them because I am still learning and finding out. I started to like my life now. I started to feel my life is going to be wonderful soon. I dont know why I feel that way. I feel as though I am lighter a lot. There's things I am settling with now. Like my school work...trying to study very hard for tests, trying to get good grades in class, being confident in talking and presentation. Just submitted my PP proposal and was approved already. Got to start doing report soon. Going to finish my CE points already. Left 4 more active points to go! and yeah! i will be done with it. FYP still on progress. Aiming for satisfying GPA so that I can go to a University, aiming for NUS, Arts and Social Science in which I think would be easier and a switch of interest now. wanna get a degree of Honour if possible. I wanna be a Career and independent woman of the 21st century!!!! woahahahohoho!!!
Im sooo motivated to study now. I want to go UNI to achieve my dreams. I miss lecture lifestyle. haha.. thinking in terms of finance, i told my sis that I want to study...and talked to my sis about it..the school fees for one sem is $3,500 like that..in which i thought it was $6000 plus. scared me. well...should be okie bahx..she said should be okie to support, but den I was thinking, this time i wouldnt want to be a burden financially le. I WILL loan that amount of money for the 3 or 4years course to study. Till i graduated, I will work and pay back on monthly basis to them. In this way, I would feel better and not to let them down. I dont want to feel supported till i took it for granted. It must come from my hardwork so that I will do my very best. One thing is thought was, giving my sis and brother in law monthly 'allowance' like that. wahahaha!!! but she said that, from the way I am spending money now, she doubts that I would ever have the chance to pay them back. haha..from this, I know that they would never expect anything in return. All they want is....blah blah...i know what they are le..hahaha...well..i will just do my job as a "student" and make them proud. LOL.
Wooohhh~~ I want to have good grades and further my studies and get high paying jobs.[dreams]
*sign off with motivation spirits*